You and Your Teen: Teens and Stress

Basketball tonight. Band practice tomorrow. A part-time job, full-time school. Homework. Friends. A parent feels stressed just keeping track of where a teen is. No wonder kids sleep until noon on the week-ends!

Stress has become a very real part of young people's lives. Teens are expected to become more independent and responsible. Competing for marks, money and popularity adds to other stresses facing this age group. Relationships with friends, peer pressure, questions around sexuality, drugs and alcohol, getting along in the family are also big issues for teens.

Be aware of the signs of stress. Changes in sleeping and eating patterns, headaches and stomach problems, changes in school achievements and activities, personality changes (nervous, crying, angry, irritable) are some signals that may warn you of stress.

How do young people cope? Many report that T.V., music and computer games are the major ways of relieving stress. Talking, relaxing, exercising and ignoring are other popular ways of dealing with stress. Unfortunately, students who feel they have a high stress level are more likely to report using cigarettes, alcohol and marijuana/cannabis. Males are more likely to deal with stress by exercising while females often talk with others about their stress.

How can an adult help without creating more stress? Because teens want to direct their own lives, a respectful approach will likely be more successful. Assist the young person in having a look at his stress level. Don't say "you are too busy to know what you are doing!" Avoid a list of crimes. "I messages" are not as threatening as accusations. You might say "I am concerned about the number of things you are trying to keep up with". Sensitive listening and encouragement are important skills in any caring relationship.

The world changes so quickly that parents' experiences and solutions may not always be useful for a young person now. We can still help our teens to reduce their stress levels by teaching them how to make good choices and how to learn from their mistakes in order to avoid the same problems in the future.

Our teenagers need reasonable guidance to protect them and prepare them for the "jungle" they will enter. This may mean negotiating commitments like jobs. (Some studies indicate that more than 12 – 15 hours of part-time work will put school work in jeopardy.) Encourage a balance of work and relaxation. Girls need more opportunities for exercise and physical activities. Provide opportunities for boys to talk openly in non-threatening settings. Practice and model good communication skills and care for your own stress level.

A calm, supportive home environment will provide a refuge of strength for young people.

See also Coping With Stress.