Healthy Relationships

What is Love?

A healthy, loving relationship means that you and your partner: 

trust one another.

respect each other’s bodies, opinions, friends, family and belongings.

accept each other for who you are.

can be yourself.

support one another’s goals and interests.

encourage each other to do and be your best.

What is not Love?

An unhealthy relationship involves:

one person trying to exert power and control over another.

physical, emotional, verbal, financial or sexual abuse, among others.

people of every race, age, sexual orientation, gender, religion and income level.

the use of fear or intimidation to control how someone talks and acts both now and in the future.

What is Abuse?

Woman Abuse (in particular) is defined as any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty whether occurring in public or private life.1

Abuse is a choice.  Abusive behaviour is intentional.  Abusers use it to get what they want from their victim.

Abuse is about control.  Abusers hold more power in the relationship and use this power to enforce his or her will upon the other person.

Abuse is often cyclical.  In abusive relationships, there is often a tension building period, followed by violence and then apologies, promises or gifts.  Over time, the violence tends to escalate.

No one deserves to be abused.

Could Your Relationship Be Unhealthy?

Early Warning Signs

What can you can do?

Communicate.  Let your partner know what you expect from him/her.

Be realistic.  You may believe that you can change your partner’s behaviour.  People do not often change behaviour like this without outside help.

Be respectful.   If your partner says no-they mean no.  Love is never forced.

Set limits.  When it comes to sex, know before you start how far you want to go.

Believe in yourself.  People with good self-esteem experience less violence and abuse in relationships.

Stay sober.  Drugs and alcohol impair your judgement and influence your behaviour.

Everyone deserves to be loved and to feel safe and secure in their relationships. 

Where to go for help

The United Nations Declaration on Violence Against Women