TBH I am sooooo damn proud of myself to even think that I would have ever made it this far into my sobriety!
It feels SOOOO amazing to feel healthy and happy with my life again!!
It also feels amazing knowing that I have my family back in my life and to be told all of the time that they are super proud of me and that they are happy that I am not going back.
I sometimes wish that I could go back in time and go back to the night of that stupid party and never of asked that person for meth (my d.o.c), and I wouldn’t of lied about the fact that I had ever done it before. When in fact I had never even known what it was or what it even felt like as a high. That night I was addicted, just from one bowl.
It had been a hard off and on battle for about 9-10 years. Now there is most definitely no going back!!
I know that when I was an active addict I was not myself. I most definitely was not happy one bit!! But now that I’m 1 year and almost 3 months sober I feel amazing!!
I feel like the person I once was before the drugs.
I’m very happy and in love with myself and now accepting myself as a human being. I DON’T ever want to go back because I definitely hated being in that dark and lonely place I was in.
I also do NOT want to lose another one of my children due to my stupid and very poor selfish decisions that I had made, those same mistakes that made me lose my 2 oldest boys.
I know that one day they will want to be in my life and build a relationship that a mother and her children should have.
My oldest is now slowly opening up again and starting to call me mom again and it feels AMAZING and truly is a blessing in disguise.
Clean since May 22 2019